Cara Curtin. Submitted
It all began a couple of Tuesdays ago. I had just finished my morning shower and turned on the hot water at the bathroom lavatory. I rinsed the various lotions and potions I had used and then turned the water off. Except it didn’t. Turn off, that is. So I recycled the handles to the “On” position and then returned them to “Off” for a second time. That’s when the hot water handle came off in my hand. I stared at it stupidly while water poured out of the faucet. After a couple of seconds, the faucet dried up, but now I had an Old Faithful geyser coming out of the hot water pipe. Sucker almost reached the ceiling.
I found myself, wet and naked, on all fours, trying to turn the water off at the valve under the sink. No joy. My arthritic hands could not budge it. I ran (well, sort of) downstairs, headed for the main cut-off that lurks next to our water softener. My arthritic hands let me down again.
I ran into the living room (yes, still wet and naked) to find my iPhone. I called C.J. Bass Plumbing and for the first time in my life, I said “This is an emergency!” I may have said it more than once, and I may have said it a little louder than I usually speak.
Bless her heart, she kept her cool as I was rapidly losing mine. Thank goodness, a plumber walked into the shop as we were talking, and she promised to send him over right away. I thanked her, and finally noticed that I was standing in the middle of the living room — with its big picture window — without a stitch on. The good news was that my clean body had air dried itself.
I shoved myself into clothes before Mike the Plumber showed up. And just like that, he turned off Old Faithful. Only the lavatory was inoperable; I could still take a shower and use the commode. I thanked him profusely for his quick response, and he told me that C.J. Bass has Faucet Friday, which means that if I provided the faucet, they would install it at a discount.
I set up a faucet installation for that Friday and scheduled myself for a visit to Lowe’s before that day arrived. Friday came and so did a team of plumbers, just as promised. They installed my new faucet and told me a couple of things. First, there was no way I was ever going to turn the water off at the valve under the sink. Age and salt air had corroded everything into a frozen mass. (This is my cue to suggest that you check your own under-the-sink plumbing, especially if you live anywhere near salt air.)
Next, he said that whoever had installed the failed faucet hadn’t done it right, and it had been leaking slowly ever since. We think that it’s been dripping since we remodeled the bathroom in 1998. This plumber was a tall man, and when we came downstairs, he extended one arm to gently push the ceiling in Andrew’s study to show me that it was bowing from collected water. Oh, joy.
I had called my handyman in my spare time that morning, and Jason popped in to assess the amount of damage we had and the time and material he would need to fix it.
Thus endeth the first week.
The next week was a blur as we scheduled a variety of artisans to fit around our already-scheduled commitments. By Monday morning I had determined that the upstairs bed and bath had no electricity. No, the circuit breaker was not popped. Yes, I cycled it, and everything remained inop. Kelley Electric came to our rescue, and more. I casually mentioned that I hadn’t needed any cold water when I took my shower upstairs that morning. I opined that it must be on the same flood-damaged circuit. The water heater was not dead because of the water damage upstairs. It had its own set of problems, which the electrician was able to solve on the spot. The good news that morning was that we didn’t need to buy a new water heater. He did his magic with the outlets upstairs and replaced the photoelectric cell in the security light outside. We were good to go.
Well, sort of. Jason had gotten rid of the wet area of the ceiling and its insulation by ripping out a large section and setting up an industrial fan to dry the exposed joists. Andrew’s study looked like a war zone for most of the week.
Friday afternoon Happy Hour was a quiet celebration to the end of our second week of chaos. We had a new faucet on the master bath lavatory, restored electrical power to the upstairs, a rewired water heater, new photoelectric cell in the security light, and a new, dry ceiling.
Monday morning dawned, and we smiled because no workmen were pounding on our door at 8 a.m. We once again resumed our leisurely early morning routine of coffee, bagels and television news. Life is good once again in Paradise.
Cara Curtin is a retired Naval officer whose last duty station was nearby Kings Bay Naval Submarine Base. She and her family chose Fernandina Beach as their forever home, where she continues to pursue her writing career of more than 30 years. She has written for radio, television and a wide variety of print publications. She also gives informal talks and conducts workshops to share her writing tips. Contact her at wordsmythe1776@gmail.com.